MARKETS FACE CHAOS....PLEASE READ!

The worlds commodity markets face chaos this week as shrewd investors, worried about instability in the more traditional and previously stable havens of gold silver copper and oil, pump billions of pounds into coprolite, or fossilised pooh!
Its true, one council in aberdeen, a town totally reliant on oil, has even renamed its famous 'Bush St', as you can see in the picture above.

Coprolite has typically fetched around £1.50 per kilo in curiosity shops throughout the nation, but as the commodity markets open tomorrow, the price is expected to rise rapidly to around £50.00 per kilo.

Sewage and water treatment plants around the country have stepped up their security operations as greedy councils attempt to cash in on our waste and we have reports from our many local authority moles that our council taxes are being used to fund specialist machinery to facilitate the removal and subsequent processing of our suspended solids. One company, Scatgold, is planning to float on the stock market tomorrow and its directors are expected to become instant millionairs.

Coprolite can be cut into discs and polished and some analysts predicts that these discs may even replace traditional coinage for some transactions, emulating early Leicestershire man who used to trade winnets. (see previous article.)

One leading analyst warned today that those investors whose portfolio is 'top heavy' in the traditional commodities should seek independent financial advice immediately and consider switching their funds into pooh.

Technorati Tags: Coprolite Stock Market Commodities Winnets Scatgold Shares Pooh Aberdeen

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