Beware of Ponytail Nerds

These particular types of nerds infest IT departments up and down the country. The prefer working with computers as it is a sad extension of their lifestyle which comprises of spending hundreds of hours a week playing on games consoles, Xbox, Sony Play Stations etc. They can often be heard in corridors discussing the latest release of certain computer games or arguing about the merits of various Star Wars movies. Why the ponytail? It is a disguise to hide their nerdiness. No, they are not hippies, they do not smoke or take drugs, but they sometimes go to the pub. They usually enter pub quizzes, and cradle half a pint of bitter all night. Curries, yes. These social outlets allow them some communication with normal people. They have no interest in women, and many are ferocious masturbators, particularly after completing a particularly challenging computer game. They have been described as asexual. I beieve most of them are hermaphrodites.
Please let me have your views on this growing trend of Ponytail Nerds. Are they out of control? Is their 'Nerdspeak' driving you crazy? Any suggestions on a cull?

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