Very Ugly People - CFTS Can Help You!

Ever looked in the mirror and said to yourself, "What an ugly twat! Little wonder noboldy will talk to me." Don't give up! Don't reach for those suicide tablets just yet! Cure For The Sure's intrepid researchers from the Social Etiquette Department have come up with amazing techniques that are guaranteed to make extremely ugly people acceptable in society, which can lead to meeting other people - who may be just as ugly, but hey, who gives a shit! The answer is Tattoos and Body Piercing! You may laugh, but CFTS scientists have proven that these techniques will guarantee a connection with like-minded freaks. The more outrageous the tattoo or the more ridiculous the body piercings, the better chance the uglies have of getting noticed. And here's the trick. These techniques offer a distraction - their ugliness is momentarily overlooked by other people while they wonder at the stupidity of a tattoo, or the senselessness of a ring through the nose or lip. So try it today and people will be queueing up to laugh at you - but at least you will no longer be ignored.

Look at the picture - aren't you just dying to meet him???

STOP PRESS ............

CFTS can now confirm these same techniques can also work on morbidly obese people who stink.

Ugly People Tattoos Body Piercing

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Tim Howard is the Everton Weak Link

Our forwards were having troble scoring at the beginning of the season, and now our defence cannot stop leaking goals. And the weak link is the Everton goalkeeper, Tim Howard. Just on his basic errors, he has cost Everton at least 10 points. Remember the first game of the season away to Blackburn? Where he practically placed the ball at the Blackburn forward's feet, and said "Have a shot on me buddy." There was the poor catch away to Tottenham, two errors away to Liverpool, etc. I can go on, and on. These mistakes aside, his overall game is poor. He has no commanding presence in his area. He panics if a an opposition forward stands next to him at corners - remember Kuyt's goal at Anfield last season? A weak goal-keeper, makes the back four nervous. They know if he comes to collect a high ball, or to punch away a cross, he'll more times than not, make a complete hash of it. Of course he makes some good saves, but that's his job - we expect him to. Moyes has to make a sensible decision for once and select Jan Mucha. You cannot leave quality international players sitting on the bench all season. Remember Arsenal were also after Mucha when Everton were chasing him? Come on Moyes get your finger out and drop Howard and SELECT MUCHA! And while you're at it, get rid of Neville and Hibbert!

Everton FC Tim Howard Jan Mucha Howard Everton Weak Leak

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