New Loch Ness Monster Discovered at Nanpantan !

As the picture clearly shows a new "Loch Ness" type monster has been sighted wading near the banks of Nanpantan Resevoir in Leicestershire. The white, feathered brute is enormous and a picture of giant wrestling legend, 9 feet tall Grappler Sid has been superimposed to give some idea of its size. The long neck supports an evil head with a beak-like appendage. Filthy!
The startling find was made after Loughborough Bugle reporters Alf Scribbler and Ned Nib had been taking lunch in the nearby Priory Public House. After their brief 5-hour repast, and 15 pints each of Greene King Abbot Ale, the intrepid couple staggered down to the resevoir to capture some images for their Natural World series of articles. Scribbler was heard to say when he first saw the beast, "I thought it was my cock I just pulled out." This was quickly followed by Nib's remark while wretching, "Wasn't it chicken I had for lunch?"
This find now puts Loughborough firmly on the global map with regard to legendary monsters. The town is expected to be flooded by the world's media in the next few days, and the town is bracing itself by trebling the prices of all its goods and services!

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