CFTS Expose Magicians as Cheating Tricksters!

Undercover CFTS Agents, operating under the code-name "Catch The Cheating Twats" have infiltrated the "Magic Circle" and discovered that magicians are using trickery, cheating and downright deception to perpetuate the myth of Magic. For years they have duped the world into thinking Magic was a supernatural art. But what the CFTS agents found were false bottomed boxes, trap-doors, two-way mirrors, hidden pockets, hypnotism and members of audiences who have collaborated with these so-called magicians to perform so-called magic.

Well done CFTS for saving the world from these charlatans! We suggest magicians should all be burnt at the stake! That will certainly make you disappear!

The Magic Circle Cheats Charlatans

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Betties Convert to Healthier Lifestyle? Pictures Can Be Deceptive!

Don't be fooled by the fruit and veg shop in the background! This medium-range Betty-Couple have merely stopped for a fag-break. They later headed off to Iceland for their Saturday afternoon snack of a pallet of meat pies and a dozen buckets of ice-cream.
See how well the male has adapted so easily to his motorised lard-carrier.
Who said obesity hampered mobilty? Aboslute nonsence! You cannot keep a good Betty down, especially with fast-food outlets and pie and cake shops adorning our high-streets.
And let's be honest, those pies won't eat themselves!

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Another Muslim Traces his Irish Roots ...

Hot of the press; Another Muslim traces his Irish roots. In light of the news that a famous black muslim boxer has visited the birthplace of his great grandfather in Ireland CFTS has had an unconfirmed tip off that Abdelbaset Ali al-Megrahi the famous Libyan celebrity and part time mass murderer has been contacted by Paddy McGrahy from Bally Killbastard in Sligo. Paddy has invited him to fly over to the town to visit the birthplace of Ali's great grandfather Abdul McGrahy.....

Ali al-Megrahi Muslims Irish Roots Lockerbie

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I Have a Dream....

From our very astute roving CFTS reporter: JayCeeMurfee (Southern Division):

Congratulations to Advertising Executives, you got your target audience right!I was working at home this afternoon and happened to see an ad on TV at lunchtime depicting some lard arse guy in his kitchen. His washing machine suddenly starts spilling out water, at first he looks worried, but then he remembers (after quite a long time!) he's been on a plumbing training course (shame it wasn't an acting one!) and he can solve the problem. The ad went on for ages & ages & ages.... It then advertised this course and others and went on & on & on... What a great ad! Aimed at males and possibly females who are in a state of mental and physiological torpor and would need about 5 minutes of something being repeated over and over again before it finally registered. So if you're one of those NEETs (Not in Education, Employment or Training) sitting there, get your shell suit and your £150 trainers on, put all thoughts of kidnapping any one of your 12 kids that you've had to 12 different women, to one side, forget (just for one day) that there is other food besides fat, sugar & salt and get yourself down to the job centre and register for one of these courses. You never know you might actually be able to, no don't stop me saying it, might actually be able to make a POSITIVE contribution to society. I have a dream....

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