Strictly Come Dancing - Halloween Special!

CFTS's intrepid reporters have revealed yet another world exclusive that will blow the doors off the Strictly Come Dancing studios! For the Halloween Special version of Strictly, new dancing partners will be selected for this one-off show. Who are these new partners you may ask. Or you may not.
The new partners will be deceased celebrities who will be exhumed especially for the show.
We have Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers, Gene Kelly and Mahatma Ghandi, Adolf Hitler and The Jiving Jews, Red Rum and Muffin the Mule.
For more details, go to the pub.

Adopt a Glacier

CFTS's intrepid reporters have revealed that the world's glaciers begin to melt when it's very hot. In the last 100 years, glaciers have been found to melt in summer and freeze in winter. During that time, 5 pints of water have drained from the glaciers, and polluted our very oceans. To stop this meltdown and protect our endangered glaciers, and to stop water entering our oceans, CFTS in partnership with SHAG (Stop Heating All Glaciers), have come up with a scheme whereby ordinary & pathetic members of the public can adopt their very own glacier.
For just £200 a month and a bucket of ice-cubes, you can have your very own adopted glacier.
You may ask, 'what do I get out of it?' Or you may not.
Well folks you will receive:

• a signed copy of Garry Glitter's latest autobiography
• the opportunity to name your glacier
• up to date news on your pet glacier, including progress at school, and sexual activity
• annual visits to your glacier (at your own expense)
• and have the satisfaction in knowing you have nothing to do with protecting the environment.

For further information, send more money.