ARE DOGS ACTUALLY FRESH WATER FISH

Recent studies by eminent piscatorial scientists have called into question the long held view regarding the taxonomical classification of dogs, which has always planted them firmly in the order of 'mamalia'.
Suspicions were alerted after Scatamoto Mizumo from Japan's highly acclaimed Institute of Fish Studies became intrigued at the enduring ability of all dogs to urinate at will. At first it was thought that dogs posessed 'auxilliary urine tanks', enabling them to leave their mark whenever they felt the urge.
Mizumo recognised similar traits in all freshwater bony fish, which, due to their osmoregulatory needs, have , in order to survive, to constantly excrete water from their systems. This they do via their extraordinary large kidney, using a mechanism of 'chloride cells' to ensure that salts from their body aren't replaced by water from their environment.
As tests continue, leading fish processors and sushi bar owners are protesting at the collapse in fish prices as the public gears itself to the possibility of massive and previously untapped supply of stray dogs. Indeed, the price of pedigree dogs, in particular the 'toy breeds' is starting to reach unprecedented highs as speculators add them to the 'futures market'.
Mizumo concluded, "If dogs do turn out to be fish, the ulimate impact of the world could be catastrophic!"