Anger At The Polling Station!

There was great anger today at the Midlands-North West-Eastern Bye-Election where voters were arriving at the polls to vote for a new candidate after councillor Reg Steatopygia retired last month.

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I Was Abused as an Adult

At the tender age of 37, I was abused by an adult female in her thirties. I believe she was actually 38 at the time of this sordid incident. It happened on a Thursday afternoon at the fish counter of Morrisson's supermarket. I was eyeing up the smoked haddock when a hand reached out in front of me and snatched a turbot fillet from the counter. I was horrified.

Before I knew what was happening, I was struck on both cheeks by the turbot. When I regained my compusre I saw a woman holding the fillet while laughing at me hysterically shouting "Turbot Chops, turbot chops". This incident has greatly affected my childhood behaviour, and explains why I cannot be alone left in a room with a turbot. I just hope society realises that many of these turbot-charges against children can be as direct result of turbot-abuse when they were adults.

I would like to take this opportunity to thank all the staff at CFTS for listening to my story and showing great empathy with my plight.

Adult-Abuse Turbot

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Sperm Donation: Cut Out The Middle Man!

Sperm donation is largely an anonymous activity mainly because the fat bitches are unable to get laid and drop a sprog. It is often expensive, and those trips to the Sperm Bank are time-consuming and embarassing.

Here at Cure For The Sure, we are not prepared to see these hog-faced, lard-arsed cows getting a raw deal; we care and we've come up with the offer of a life-time. We are prepared to cut out the middle man and go straight to the ladies directly to donate our sperm - in the comfort of your own home!

By doing this our CFTS researchers will halve costs, save time, and guarantee pregnancy or your money back! And if a suitable daughter is in the household, 18-20 years of age, we will donate two samples for the price of one!
To contact our SDS (Sperm Donation Services) Department, please leave your name and number behind the public convenience at Charing Cross Railway Station. Do not apply for these services if your body is unlike the picture of our CFTS Research Assistant enclosed.

Sperm Donation Sperm Direct Two for the price of one Fat Cows Sperm Bank

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