Thatcher Funeral a Sham!

Margaret Thatcher's funeral is a sham!

CFTS's intrepid reporters can reveal that Margaret Thatcher has already entered the food chain, and her remains have been discovered in tins of corned beef  at Spar shops around the country.

Customers at a Spar branch in Upper Ramsbottom, Cumbersausage, were questioned on the discovery of the former Prime Minister's body parts in tins of their favourite breakfast snack:

Wendy Burger: "I just can't believe it's not butter."

Harold Rasputin: "Shit! I thought I was eating Simon Cowell. Is that cunt still alive?"

Rt. Hon. Judge Judge: " I remember a similar occurence with Ted Heath. Left a nasty taste in my mouth."

Margaret Thatcher RIP has since denied the accusations, and  claims  that she has been nowhere near a tin of corned beef.

Despite these newspaper reports, the funeral will go ahead.