Ravishing Beauty Caught on Camera at a Dublin Bus-Station

Hard to believe but this gorgeous, lithe, sex-bomb was spotted wandering around a Dublin Bus Station, unattended! What's puzzling us is the complete lack of hoards of adoring fans following her around. However CFTS's intrepid reporters managed to corner her. A little shy at first at the sudden attention of the world's media, she gradually opens up and grants us a 5 minute interview. She wanted to remain anonymous, so we will refer to her as SB - Sex-Bomb. But her real name is Dump Truck.

CFTS: My first question, and probably the question on the nation's lips, is how do you keep in shape?

SB: I just keep to my daily routine, morning noon and night. (flutters her eyelids)

CFTS: Will you let us into your little secret and explain your daily routine?

SB: I never sleep in and always up before midday. Then I work-out.

CFTS: A work-out? Jogging? Pilates?

SB: (Smiling) No silly (thumps me on the collar bone which nearly dislocates my spine) ... that's for skinny tarts. You can get plenty of exercise in the kitchen. I tear open 5 packets of Jaffa cakes and drink a bucket of diet coke. I then dice 8 lb of sausage meat and fry it with a dozen burgers. While it's cooking I take a huge dump but making sure I'm eating 2 kilo of lard ice-cream while I squat on my double-seated toliet

CFTS: Interesting breakfast.

SB: This keeps me going until lunch at noon.

CFTS: You make me sick (projectile vomit into SB's face) Now fuck off and die.