Aberystwyth Rug Harvest Fails!

Reports are coming in that the usually abundant Rug Harvest in Aberystwyth has failed miserably, and male engineering students are said to be responsible. The rug crop is normally harvested from Ystwyth and Rheidol Virgins who inhabit the land between the rivers Ystwyth and Rheidol. The rugs are used in local Victirian B&B establishments which thrive along the promenade. These Virgins live, as nature intended, freely on the banks of the rivers and feed on a diet of fresh water shrimp and leeks which greatly enhances their rug growth. They are rewarded for their crops with free exhaust inspections at KwifFit. Unfortunately, following an excursion to the rivers by a group of Aberystwyth first year students, keen on depilation, has spelled distaster for the Aberystwyth Rug Industry. These students armed with razors, prawn cocktail, and ample portions of leek pie, persuaded the virgins to allow them to depilate their crop. After performing their roguish act, the virgins never looked back. They liked the look of their shaved cracknel, and have stubbornly refused to allow growth beyond a seven o'clock shadow. Picture shows a virgin witnessing the first act of depilation.
Dai Reeah reporting from Aberystwyth.

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